anuary 25, 2022|Mental Health
We know that many people who struggle with poor mental health do so in silence. We know that 39 per cent of Canadian workers would not tell their managers if they were experiencing a mental health problem. And we know that 60 per cent of people with mental health problems and mental illness won’t seek the help they need due to stigma.
The solution probably seems obvious— we need to talk about it.
But despite the progress society has made in lifting the veil on mental health, many Canadians are still uncomfortable initiating conversations with individuals who may require support. They may be more open to talking about mental health in a more general sense, or sharing information on the internet, for example, but when it comes to having in-depth personal conversations about the emotional well-being of themselves or others, they may come up against barriers.
In honour of Bell Let’s Talk Day, we’re shedding a light on this important and widespread reality. We want to address the reasons why speaking about mental health remains difficult for plenty of people, and provide some insight into how we can tear down the barriers to life-saving discussions.
What Stops Us From Speaking About Mental Health?
There are a few different reasons why an individual might be uncomfortable addressing mental health concerns, including:
1. They Have Stigmatizing Thoughts or Beliefs They Have Yet to Overcome
Mental health stigma is a prominent and pervasive issue, not just in Canada, but around the world. Many people are raised in households, communities, or cultures where mental illness is considered “taboo” or perhaps isn’t discussed at all.
Sometimes we may not even realize that we still carry stigmatizing thoughts or beliefs with us until we are directly impacted by mental illness ourselves. A person might begin to experience depression for the first time in their life, for example, and find themselves thinking “Why am I so weak?”— a common, and completely untrue, belief many folks with depression hold about themselves.
It’s important to be patient with others who have not yet overcome the mental health stigma they have learned and absorbed throughout their life. It’s never too late for a person to gain new information and change their perspective.
2. They Are Introverted and Find it Difficult to Talk About Feelings
Some people are just naturally more conversational than others— and that’s okay. In fact, opening up or having intense, serious conversations can be anxiety-inducing for anyone who is more reserved or shy.
This doesn’t mean that talking about mental health is off the table completely, however. There is always a way! It’s just about knowing your own communication style and coming up with an approach that works for you.
3. They Underestimate The Severity of the Situation
Because many individuals haven’t been formally educated about the warning signs of mental health conditions or how to identify when someone is experiencing a mental health crisis, they might dismiss red flags as “just having a bad day” or “being needy”. This happens far more frequently than most people think and could lead to life-threatening circumstances.
Learning How to Talk About Mental Health
Now that we’ve covered the reasons why a person might find it difficult to talk about mental health, let’s focus on finding solutions. Here are a few steps you can take to begin talking about mental health more confidently and effectively:
1. Practice Active Listening
We often forget that listening is just as important as speaking in a conversation. This is often a welcomed reminder for those who struggle to verbalize their thoughts. By practicing active listening, you can ensure others feel heard and supported— increasing the likelihood they’ll confide in you if they are experiencing a decline in mental health.
2. Be Aware of Stigmatizing Language
It’s critical to be aware of the words and phrases you use when speaking to a person who is living with mental illness. There are many terms that have a negative connotation or that further exacerbate feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, etc.
There are two key factors to keep in mind when speaking about mental health:
Intentional Language
You should always choose your words carefully and thoughtfully when discussing mental illness or substance use. Words truly do matter, so taking the time to consider how you will address certain concerns or refer to someone who is experiencing mental illness is essential.
Person-First Language
It’s important to remember that anyone who is experiencing a decline in mental health or a substance use disorder is still a person first. They are not their condition or addiction, just as a person with cancer is not their diagnosis. We must be vigilant in honouring a person’s humanity when speaking about mental health.
With these two factors in mind, always avoid saying things like:
- “They’re psychotic…”
- “You need to take your happy pills…”
- “He/She is just seeking attention…”
- “Just get over it…”
- “You’re so negative…”
Instead try saying:
- “They are living with schizophrenia/bipolar disorder/borderline personality disorder…”
- “I’ve noticed you aren’t quite yourself today. Is there something going on?”
- “They have mental health needs that aren’t being met…”
- “I know this is a difficult time. How can I support you in your healing process?”
- “You seem unhappy lately. Is it just me? Or is something making it difficult feel your best? You can talk to me.”
3. Never Place Blame
In the midst of a difficult conversation, you might be tempted to point out why the person is responsible for the circumstances they are facing by saying things like:
- “Of course you’re depressed! You never sought therapy after (difficult experience)…”
- “You’ll never feel motivated if you don’t clean up after yourself…”
- “You never should have dated (person’s name). They were so toxic! It’s no wonder your self-esteem isn’t where it used to be…”
- “You’d feel better about yourself if you exercised more…”
- “You’re so dramatic. You need to stop making everything a big deal…”
It’s absolutely imperative to remember that blaming or shaming the other person will only make them regret talking about mental health with you. If you actually want to see them get back to a healthier, happier version of themselves, you need to create an emotionally safe environment where they can be honest without fear of repercussions.
Remember friends, part of being an Ambassador of Hope is learning how to get comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. By doing so, you help lift the veil of shame that stigma often perpetuates. You can be a catalyst for change in your home, in your workplace, and in your community.
I invite you to share this post with your friends, family, coworkers, or colleagues in honour of Bell Let’s Talk Day. Remember, one conversation truly has the power to change the trajectory of someone’s life. Together, we can create lasting change!