July 7, 2022|Mental Health
Have you ever shared a problem with someone, only to have them reply with “Well it could be worse!” or “Look on the bright side!”? If so, you’ve experienced toxic positivity and you likely didn’t even realize it was happening.
Toxic positivity (AKA toxic optimism) is a bit of a phenomenon in modern-day culture, partly due to the pressure social media puts on us to present our “best selves” at all times. In an effort to seem more desirable, likable, or envy-worthy, we dismiss any aspects of our lives that don’t fit into our carefully-curated, picture-perfect online existence.
Social media isn’t the only underlying cause, though. Many of us grew up in households where emotions weren’t discussed and, as a result, lack the skills required to express our feelings or adequately support others who are going through a difficult time.
There’s also the misguided belief that “emotions don’t belong in the workplace”, which has become an unwritten (and extremely harmful) societal law.
All of these factors contribute to the rise of toxic positivity and put our emotional wellness at risk.
Keep scrolling to learn more about toxic positivity culture and what can be done to reverse the damage it’s causing to our mental health.
Toxic Positivity Definition
Toxic positivity refers to the act of ignoring, dismissing, or disapproving of negative emotions. It can also be used to describe the act of sharing empty reassurances or placations (rather than actionable solutions) when others are in distress.
Does It Really Harm Our Mental Health?
A lot of people question the concept of toxic positivity, wondering “Can positivity be toxic?”— and the answer is yes.
Denying our emotions and forcing ourselves to appear happy when we’re actually in distress puts us at risk for mental illness.
In fact, toxic positivity has been linked to the following mental health concerns:
1. Stigma
When we ignore, dismiss, or disapprove of difficult emotions, or we consistently witness others doing so, we contribute to mental health stigma. More specifically, we further perpetuate the idea that negative emotions should be internalized and “kept to ourselves”.
This is an extremely dangerous concept since we know that internalizing negative emotions is associated with a higher likelihood of self-harm, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.
2. Loneliness
When other people fail to empathize with what we are experiencing, offer us hope, or share ideas for solving the problem, we learn to distance ourselves and keep our emotions inside, which can ultimately lead to complete emotional isolation.
We must remember that loneliness puts us at a greater risk for depression, heart disease, dementia, poor sleep quality, and anxiety.
3. Low Self-Esteem
Toxic positivity leads us to believe we should be able to just “get over” what’s bothering us or “move on”, no matter what the issue is. This, of course, sets us up to feel guilt and disappointment, since emotions need to be felt, expressed, and understood in order to truly be resolved.
It’s not uncommon for people to feel like a failure when their emotions are constantly met with toxic optimism since they struggle to suppress how they’re feeling when others are telling them they should be able to.
Toxic Positivity in the Workplace
Leaders and executives who do respond to employee mental health concerns with empty reassurances and placations create a culture of toxic positivity within their companies and organizations.
Ultimately, this leads to a wide range of issues for the business, including:
- Higher turnover rates
- Reduced productivity
- Increased absenteeism
- Low team morale
- More frequent interpersonal conflict
Employers must be aware of what toxic positivity is and take proactive measures to avoid it.
Below is an example of how toxic positivity can present itself in the workplace:
An employee informs their supervisor they’ve been feeling anxious due to a recent increase in their workload. The supervisor promises to have a discussion with management to come up with a solution. When the time comes, however, management calls the employee into their team meeting and tells the employee that “everyone is dealing with added pressure at the moment” and encourages them to “be grateful they’re still employed” after recent layoffs.
Toxic Positivity VS Helpful Support
The key to addressing toxic positivity, whether it’s in our personal lives or professional lives, is identifying it. When we know exactly what it is (and what it isn’t) we can respond accordingly in the moment.
Below are some statements that contribute to toxic positivity:
- “Everything will work out in the end!”
- “Don’t let it get you down.”
- “Just grin and bear it.”
- “No pain, no gain!”
- “You’ll get through this.”
And here are some examples of helpful support:
- “I know you are disappointed right now and that’s totally understandable. Would it cheer you up if I _________?”
- “You don’t seem like yourself today. It’s okay if you need to take the afternoon off to focus on your mental health. We’ll arrange for someone to cover your shift.”
- “I admire your commitment to showing up, but we all need time to heal every now and then. What can we do to support you in your healing process?”
- “You haven’t spoken much about what happened. I don’t want to push you to communicate, but please know I am here to listen, support you, and help you figure out your next steps whenever you are ready.”
- “We have been informed that stress levels are at an all-time high within the department. We just want to let you know we care deeply about the health and well-being of our team members. In an effort to help you de-stress, we will be closing the office at 12PM on Friday, with full pay, so you can get a head start on enjoying a relaxing weekend!”
Remember, all of our emotions serve a purpose. Even the “negative” ones. And they must be felt, expressed, and worked through in order to do their job. Fear notifies us of potential danger or conflict. Anger tells us a boundary has been crossed one too many times. Sadness informs us we need to be comforted.
When emotions arise, do not dismiss them. Ask yourself, “What are these feelings trying to tell me?”, or ask the person in distress, “What do you think these emotions are stemming from?”.
One conversation really does have the power to create change!
Need help addressing toxic positivity in your workplace? Book me as a keynote speaker for your next employee event. I would be happy to engage your team in a transformative and educational conversation about mental health, so they can show up for your business as their best selves!