November 9, 2021|Mental Health

Would others feel comfortable speaking about mental health with you? Do you make those around you feel safe and supported by using positive, stigma-free mental health language?

The way we welcome conversations about mental health is integral to addressing stigma and ensuring timely and adequate treatment for anyone who may be struggling.

Whether it’s your child, a coworker, a friend, or a relative, you can make a difference by using your words to create emotional safety and reassure the individual they can confide in you.

Remember, 37 per cent of Canadians say they hide mental health issues from friends and family, worrying they will be treated differently. This means it’s likely someone you know is struggling, unbeknownst to you.

If you could offer comfort and life-saving assistance to the people in your life, would you want to do it? Do you care about being a mental health ally to those in need? If so, today’s blog is for you.

We’re going to be taking a closer look at mental health language and the incredible impact it can have when utilized correctly.

Let’s get started.

How to Create Emotional Safety Using Mental Health Language

1. Present Ideas Instead of Giving Orders

When someone we care about is experiencing mental illness, we may be tempted to give instructions on what they should do. This comes from a good place, more often than not, but it is rarely the most effective way to achieve our desired outcome.

If a family member has been bedridden with depression for several days, for instance, we may want to tell them to get up, shower, and leave the house to get some fresh air. But is this the best approach?

Instead of making demands, you can create emotional safety by posing your idea in the form of a question. Here are some examples of what this might sound like:

• “I wonder if you might feel better if you took a nice, hot shower?”
• “I noticed you haven’t eaten much. If I made you some breakfast, do you think you could try to eat a little?”
• “I know you don’t feel up to leaving the house, but I’d really like to just keep you company. What if I put on your favorite movie? Would you come out to the sofa and watch it with me?”

Presenting solutions as ideas will make the other person feel as if they are involved in the process and give them an opportunity to present their own ideas.

2. Acknowledge Healthy Behaviours, No Matter How Small

When a person is struggling with mental illness or substance use, simple daily tasks can feel like major hurdles, so what may seem like a lack of progress to you may have actually taken a lot of effort on their end.

Instead of commenting on what you feel the person “should have achieved by now”, try shifting to positive acknowledgment statements like:

• “I’m so happy to see you’ve showered and put on a nice outfit. I know it’s been a difficult week and it’s hard to feel motivated when you’re feeling down, so I just want you to know I see your progress and I’m proud of you.”
• “It took a lot of courage to call the helpline and seek help. I know you must have been scared, but I just want you to know how grateful I am that you reached out.”
• “I know that leaving the house can be very overwhelming for you, so I just wanted to say thank you for meeting with me for coffee. You really have made so much progress and it’s inspiring to see.”

3. Never Invalidate The Other Person’s Perspective

It’s okay to not fully understand what another person is thinking, feeling, or experiencing. What isn’t okay is to make them feel as if they are wrong for their thoughts, feelings, or experiences.

In many cases, we may not even be aware that the words we’re using are invalidating the other person, which is why being aware of mental health language and how you are communicating is important at all times.

Below are some invalidating phrases to avoid:

• “At least you aren’t…”
• “You should be thankful/happy, etc…”
• “You’re too sensitive/emotional/dramatic, etc…”
• “If you hadn’t done X then Y wouldn’t have happened…” 
• “I’m not having this conversation…”

Remember, you can validate a person’s perspective without agreeing with it or endorsing it. It isn’t about right or wrong. It’s about creating a safe space where the person can express themselves authentically and openly without fear of criticism or disapproval.

4. Avoid Generalizations and Stereotypes

We all have experiences that shape our view of the world, but it’s important not to let our experiences dictate how we view an entire group of people, since each person is a unique and complex person.

When we generalize people, we punish them for the negative actions of others. There is no one single action, behavior, or personality trait that describes an entire group of people, and so we must be careful not to lump people into one specific category.

When speaking about mental health, try to avoid generalizing statements like:

• “Addicts can’t be trusted.”
• “Once an addict always an addict.” 
• “They don’t have a disorder. They’re just damaged.”
• “People aren’t depressed. They’re just lazy and unmotivated.”
• “Watch out for schizophrenic people, they have split personalities.”

5. Remember People Are Not Their Conditions

This is one of the most important mental health language lessons we can learn. Mental illness is a disease, and the people who live with it are just that… people. We wouldn’t refer to a person with multiple sclerosis as their illness, so why do it to someone who is living with a mental illness?

When having conversations about mental health, remember to take a “person-first” approach by using terms and phrases like:

• “They have been diagnosed with…”
• “She is living with obsessive-compulsive disorder.”
• “He is experiencing psychosis.”
• “They are in recovery.”
• “She died by suicide.”

As opposed to:

• “They’re crazy/delusional/nuts, etc…”
• “She’s so OCD.”
• “He’s psychotic.”
• “Ex-addict, junkie, druggie, etc…”
• “Committed suicide.”

The person-first approach is an essential part of using de-stigmatizing language and demonstrating to others that we are safe, non-judgmental people to speak to.

Remember, one conversation really does have the power to change a person’s life. When you create emotional safety for others, you significantly improve the chances of them reaching out for help and rediscovering hope.

Will you be more aware of your mental health language moving forward? Which tip did you find most helpful? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.