February 23, 2022|Self-Care
You aren’t sure exactly what you need. What you are sure of, though, is that you can’t continue feeling the way you do. You’re struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. You’re irritable even when nothing has happened to warrant your bad mood. And no matter what you do, you can’t shake the pervasive sense of hopelessness that now seems to follow you everywhere you go.
Does this sound familiar?
If so, you’re likely ready for change.
Maybe you’ve spoken to others about what you’ve been experiencing and gotten their feedback. Maybe you did your own research on the web and read up on possible solutions. Whatever steps have brought you to this point, one thing has become clear— you need to practice self care.
It’s a realization you’ve come to terms with. You haven’t been prioritizing yourself and it has drained you of the zest you once had for life.
The only problem? You’re completely new to self care. It’s not something you’ve ever done before. (Not intentionally, at least.) And you have so many questions.
Maybe you’ve been wondering:
- How do I know what self-care activities will work for me?
- How often do I need to make time for self-care?
- Is self-care really the answer? Or is it just another health and wellness fad that will soon be replaced by a new craze?
Well, my friend, you have come to the right place.
The decision to start practicing self-care is a significant one. But in order to truly get VALUE out of your practice, you need to truly understand what self care is, what it isn’t, and how to customize it to your unique mental, physical, and spiritual needs.
Today, I’ll be sharing my complete guide to self care for beginners so you can start off on the right foot and ensure your routine is sustainable for the future. But first, let’s take a closer look at the meaning of self care.
What is Self Care?
Self care refers to any activity, practice, or ritual a person purposefully does in an effort to improve the health of their own mind, body, or spirit.
Common Misconceptions About Self Care
Many people misinterpret the meaning of self care or come to conclusions before they’ve done their research. Some of the most common misconceptions about self care include:
1. Self Care is Time Consuming
Self care takes as much (or as little) time as you want it to. The key is to determine how long your practice, ritual, or activity needs to take in order to yield its maximum benefit. You may feel energized after a 15 minute afternoon nap, for example, but wake up feeling groggy if you nap for 30 minutes or more. In this case, your ideal time commitment would be 15 minutes.
It’s all about finding the sweet spot for your personal mental, physical, and spiritual health.
2. Self Care is Selfish
It’s important to remember that self care does not mean “me first”. It means “me also”. It’s about giving yourself the same amount of care, time, and energy that you give to other people or obligations in your life.
It is never selfish to refill your own cup. We often neglect our own needs and desires, to the point of our own detriment. Self care is actually selfless, as it allows us to better care for others by showing up as the most healthy, fulfilled, and present versions of ourselves.
3. Self Care is a Luxury
When we think about self care, visions of spa treatments, tropical vacations, or studio fitness classes may come to mind. And while these things can be classified as self care, they are absolutely not a requirement.
In fact, self care doesn’t have to cost anything at all. Going for a walk in nature, avoiding negative self talk, or tidying up the space you live in are all examples of self care practices that are completely free to engage in.
When deciding on your personal routine, remember the three pillars of self care:
1. Reflective
When you practice self care, it should be the result of listening to your mind, body, and spirit, and identifying a need that is not currently being met. People experience a great variety of spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. From intimacy to security, fulfillment, protection, or solitude— there are countless possibilities. Getting in tune with yourself and identifying what it is you are lacking is an essential part of establishing a self care routine that is truly beneficial.
2. Purposeful
Your chosen self care activities should be chosen and completed with intention. Self care isn’t passive. It is a conscious effort. When you engage in your self care routine you should be fully present, rooted in the here and now, and focused on maximizing the positive impact of your practice as much as possible.
Additionally, it is crucial to address any needs you identified while reflecting on your current situation. If you realized you’ve been feeling lonely lately, for example, you could purposefully plan a movie night with a friend. Or if you feel you’ve been spending too much time at work or in your home, you could commit to doing an outdoor activity every Sunday afternoon.
3. Supported By Boundaries
Without boundaries, it is nearly impossible to maintain a consistent and beneficial self care routine. Boundaries allow us to remain true to ourselves, maintain healthy relationships, and be valued, appreciated, and respected at all times.
If you decide that a 10-minute meditation practice is an essential part of your personal self care routine, for example, you might set a boundary with your partner that they can not interrupt you (unless it’s an emergency) while you are meditating. This boundary will allow you to protect this important part of your day and enjoy a deeper, more focused meditative experience.
How to Start a Self-Care Routine
1. Listen to Your Inner Voice
Sit with yourself in silence and be honest about what you have been feeling lately. What has been missing in your life? What has there been too much of? Where is your stress or dissatisfaction originating from?
Remember, the universe whispers before it roars. Your mind, body, and spirit give subtle hints that something is wrong long before there’s a crisis. Pay attention to the little things. If you’ve been having trouble sleeping, for example, it could be due to anxiety. Implementing a night time self care routine that relaxes your mind would likely be a great solution.
2. Identify Your Intentions
You should have an end goal in mind when you practice self care. The goal can be as abstract or as specific as you’d like it to be, but it should be documented and at the forefront of your mind as you engage in your practice.
In a broader sense, for instance, your goal might be to feel more confident in your own skin. Or, if you prefer to be more particular, your goal might be to stop wearing makeup to work in an effort to embrace your natural beauty.
3. Explore Your Options
This is a critical aspect of self care for beginners. It’s so important to experiment with different self care techniques and practices before adding them to your routine, since you aren’t yet aware of which activities benefit you most or yield the best results.
Some examples of potential self care practices you might want to consider include:
- Hosting a weekly family dinner
- Creating a monthly vision board
- Drinking 2 litres of water per day
- Meditating for 10 minutes each morning
- Volunteering at a local non-profit twice per month
Whatever activities you choose, be sure to clearly define how much time you want to dedicate to each practice.
4. Set a Sustainable Schedule
When deciding upon your new self care routine, it’s important to be realistic about your time commitments. Ultimately, you want your self care routine to be one you can enjoy and maintain indefinitely— not one that quickly begins to feel like a chore.
Review your current daily, weekly, and monthly obligations. How much time can you dedicate to your self care routine without compromising your other commitments or stretching yourself too thin?
The more realistic you are in establishing your routine, the more likely you are to succeed in maintaining it over time.
5. Evaluate As You Go
Our wants and needs are continuously changing and shifting. What benefits our mind, body, or spirit today may not have the same effect tomorrow, next week, or one year from now.
Checking in with yourself and asking, “Does this still serve me?” is the best way to ensure your self care practice evolves with you. Remember, it’s okay to let go of things that no longer benefit you the way they once did, and it’s always a good idea to add new techniques and activities to your routine to keep things fresh and exhilarating.
Are You Ready to Start Taking Better Care of Yourself?
Now that you’ve read this article, I believe you have the foundational knowledge required to put a practical and productive self care routine in place.
I invite you to share this article with anyone you know who might be new to self care. By sharing our knowledge and uplifting one another, we can all be catalysts for change.